A Word About… Third.

When I was boy, and I got into a race with some of the kids in our neighborhood, I didn’t like coming in third. Of course, everyone wants to be first. But since there can only be one first place, I learned that second place wasn’t that bad. But third place? For some reason, I just didn’t like third place.

In 1989, American sociologist Ray Oldenburg wrote an entire book about third place. 

He said first place was home; that space where we’re most ourselves, most comfortable because we sort of ‘own’ the atmosphere in our homes. It’s ours, and unique to us. He defined second place as our workplace environment. It’s the place we spend most of our time, the place we earn money. The first place, our home, and the second place, our workplace serve as the two main anchors in our lives.

But Oldenburg proposed that a third place was also essential. In his book, ‘The Great Good Place’, he described third place as informal gathering places where people could socialize, connect, and build community. Third place he said, is a social environment outside of home or work where people can experience an atmosphere of belonging, a place where people can feel as if they’re part of a community.

Third place destinations are cafes, barber shops, bookstores; diners where people meet not out of necessity but out of choice. Venues where friendship, humor, and identity are cultivated. Oldenburg said third place could be considered “neutral ground.” No specific host; everyone can come and go freely. In a third place, social status and hierarchy are less relevant; people mix as equals. Third places are designed for talk, storytelling, and interaction. They are usually easy to get to, and involve a group of people we’re familiar with. Third places aren’t fancy or pretentious; they’re ordinary, comfortable. After hearing about what Oldenburg said about third place, I think I’ve re-considered.

It seems to me that the Bible is full of third places. Abraham had quite an exchange with those strangers under the oaks of Mamre (Genesis 18). Ruth and Boaz met in a field (Ruth 2). Jesus met the woman at the well in Samaria (John 4). None of those meetings happened in a home or some factory or office. They happened in places in-between, places where God showed up in the ordinary.

I think the early church understood third place, too. Acts 2 tells us believers gathered “day by day, in the temple courts and from house to house,” eating their food with glad and generous hearts. Paul spent time reasoning daily in the marketplace of Athens (Acts 17:17). Those were third places, where conversation flowed and community deepened. And God used those third places to spread his kingdom.

I think I’ve changed my mind about third place. If I’m wanting to connect with the world I live in, third place may just be the first place I need to start looking. My favorite coffee shop, or maybe even the church foyer before the service begins. I’m gonna start looking for third places in my life. How about you?