A Word About, … Encouragement

As I sat alone eating in my favorite Thai cafe the other day, I noticed a couple having lunch, conversing, smiling, laughing. They looked married, and I supposed they were. Their interactions were animated, almost playful I think. And their lunch together seemed to make my lunch alone somehow taste a bit better, but they didn’t even know what they were doing..

I’m a people-watcher by predilection, I think. By that, I mean that I observe people, their actions, their ways of communicating. I find it fascinating. Since there are no two people alike, every encounter I have with another person, every conversation is a new experience and opportunity for growth and understanding. And even as I watch other people interact and converse, I notice. I watch. I observe people as they live in their world, and I wonder what they are really like.

The fact that I’m a people-watcher and observer does not mean, I hope, that I am a people-judger. The Book tells us very specifically not to judge another person, or label them. We do not have a license for judging. But judging and observing are two different things, aren’t they. When I’m observing people, and noticing their manners, their idiosyncrasies, the way they carry themselves, I can learn so much about human nature. And since I’m human, I can learn much about myself, I think, as I watch other people navigate life. Yes. I’m a people-watcher by predilection.

However, watching people as they move through life has one profound limitation. All I can possibly ‘know’ for certain about another person is what I see on the outside. When I noticed the couple eating Thai food the other day, I knew they liked spicy food because I watched them eating spicy Thai curry. But I didn’t know if they were happy or fulfilled in life by watching them. I saw them smile. I heard them laugh. But, even though I observed them, there was so much about them I did not know.

The Wise Man in Proverbs chapter 14 says “Each heart knows its own sorrow, and no one else can fully share it’s joy.” I think what that means is that no matter who we are, there are things going on deep inside of us that not only can’t be seen, they can’t be ‘known’ or experienced or realized by another person. My sorrow or pain is my own, and you cannot know it. You, of course. know and have known pain of your own. I might watch you navigate and manage that pain, but it is an absolute certainty that you have internal struggles I will never notice. The outward manifestations of sorrow or joy in another person’s life can be seen, but such ‘knowing’ is limited. In other words, my inner man is only truly known by two people: me, and Jesus.

I know. That’s not news. “Man looks at the outer appearance, but God looks at the heart,” says the Book. But the fact that no one knows the kind of inner challenges I may be facing on any given day does not mean that I am immune to being encouraged by another person who may not even be aware of my struggle. If you see me on the street, today, please for heaven’s sake, smile. The couple having spicy Thai food the other day didn’t even know that their conversation was warming my heart.